2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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