last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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