Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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