please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
