It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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