Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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