i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
