I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
