Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize