So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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