i don't like sucking hair
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I need a beard to bite.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
