He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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