i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
