I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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