im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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