I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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