I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
