it was like eating out sand paper
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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