420 ftw
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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