don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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