I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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