i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
