quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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