I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
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I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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