My hand turned me down
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
A bitchslap is in order.
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