i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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