Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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