you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
