You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I could fuck to npr.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
