are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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