Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
