Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
