Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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