if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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