His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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