just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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