How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she smelled like a LAN party
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
