Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
