wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
