are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
