i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
