does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
