Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
