Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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