wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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