he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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