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is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
