I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
