You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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