Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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