What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
