Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
