just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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