I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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