i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
