our cab driver is having phone sex.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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