just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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