i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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