He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
