I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
