I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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