I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I have post one night stand depression
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
