i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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